Which terrible slogan should be Oath’s oath?

Hello, friends. It’s Friday. Let’s have some fun.

In case you weren’t aware, Verizon is trying to transform itself from a stodgy old telecom company into a hip digital media publisher. It created Go90, a video service for the youths that no self-respecting teen would be caught dead using. It bought up AOL and Yahoo, two of the edgiest brands on the interwebs these days, and it’s going to combine them into a single powerhouse called Oath.

The kickoff tagline for this new entity was “Take the Oath,” but inside corporate headquarters, the sloganeering was just getting started. Employees have been asked to come up with their own “oaths,” three-word mantras that will inspire them to sell more display ads. A few sources passed along some of the choicest oaths, and we’ve collected them below. Help Tim Armstrong decide what war cry will motivate his troops.

P.S. I like to imagine that “Always be human” is what Armstrong tells himself in the morning, staring into the mirror, before putting his flexi-skin over his robot shell and heading into the office.

P.P.S. “Suck it up?” Really?

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